Empathy In Education: Why It's Essential

You have to wonder, whether the term “empathy” even merits a place in a discussion on education. I mean: isn’t it obvious that a good educator ideally also loves his or her students?

Yet, for most of us who are day-to-day teachers, the demands of the job (especially in the public sector) are such, that positively the last thing we have in stock (at 3pm, when the children leave) is a reserve of empathy. There are parents to contact, worksheets to photocopy, the volleyball team to coach, and so on. So, on a day-to-day basis, how does one care and promote empathy amongst students and in the classroom?

“Social and Emotional Learning” (SEL) refers to the skills of emotional self-management, group work, and empathy, that children and teenagers develop in order to become self-confident and successful adults. These skills have nothing to do with achieving a high score on the SAT or other standardized tests; on the contrary, they have everything to do with being a well-balanced, affable and socially competent person who can make great contributions to one’s workplace, family, and friends.

The Chicago-based Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning (CASEL) defines SEL as “the process through which children and adults understand and manage emotions, set and achieve positive goals, feel and show empathy for others, establish and maintain positive relationships, and make responsible decisions.” Their website (casel.org) offers research and tools for including SEL into the curriculum.

The Seattle-based Committee for Children defines SEL similarly, as “the process of developing the self-awareness, self-control, and interpersonal skills that are vital for school, work, and life success.” Their website (cfchildren.org) offers mindfulness tools for students, resources against bullying and a program for integrating SEL into K-5 classrooms.

Getting back to the concept of empathy: the way I do it is to ‘collude’ with the students ‘against’ whatever test or assignment the two of us are ‘forced’ to study for. “Yeah, you know, this is a terrible test — but we can do it, and if the two of us do it, then we will both come out stronger.” Or: “we both think Advanced Subject X is a terrible waste of time, but if we learn this, then we will have gone through something extraordinary together, which will have been meaningful.”

Of course, then the point is that you ‘suffer’ with the student, through the ‘terrible waste of time’ that Subject X entails… but by accompanying the student on the journey, by sitting with them, by listening with them, you give the time they spend with you meaning. And, most of all: you show them that you really care, that you are empathetic and loving.

I think it’s more the presence of the teacher that matters, than the actual physical task at hand. What that teenager will remember 20 years from now is not the actual task. The teenager will remember is the time you spent together. Was it fulfilling? Were you present? Could they talk to you about their life problems? Those are the meaningful conversations, which I think only happen once we get the day-to-day business of school out of the way.

Ultimately, I think it is essential to be both empathetic and cognizant of the academic needs of curricula. It’s no easy task, but I think it’s essential to ensure we have a commitment to both.